I won’t let myself feel miserable by comparing with others.

​​Since I created Waking-up early in the morning club, I could get myself to be more exposed to English. But the problem is I also spend a lot of time online like surfing the internet; checking out what kind of response I’ve got for my sub.

I don’t want to end up being 2years ago-me. Others, I mean, the members of English speaking groups, seem to fare well and have achieved something productive while learning English. But look at me! Just sitting around practicing English and get frustrated whenever I am envious of some people’s English speaking level.

Do I have to accept that I can’t get to the level I speak English fluently? It is hard to give up now, though. I’ve spent so much time on this and really want to upgrade my speaking level.
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How?
I don’t know. I just keep doing practice of shadowing and mimicking. Sometimes I feel good to understand some scenes without translating in my head. That’s good thing but still I don’t feel my speaking has improved as I expected.
What a shame...
However I have no other choice but to keep shadowing until I can say that I am good at speaking. To achieve that, I have to read even though reading is still kind of hard for me to like. And I want to keep writing things in English but because of my lazyness, I often skip days.

I should stop this slacking now. Even if I can’t see the progress I wanna see, I will not let myself down to the abyss. The only person I support myself is me. So I won’t feel frustrated by someone whom I don’t know that much and let this Englis process slow down. I WON’T.