I still think mimicking is a good way to learn English even though I've not reach the level I want, yet.

I joined a club which keeps a pact that every member in the club should take photos of each member's waking up and do something, 'cause I was too lazy to sleep in until 12 P.M. these days. At first I regretted participating in the club but it gives me motivation to wake up early and do something productive like writing something English. I don't want to lost my $5 deposit by not keeping up with the pact.  

But yesterday, I couldn't benefit from this because as soon as I arrived at a cafe to study English, I didn't have any motivation to do anything besides exploring the internet. Plus, the cafe's owner gave me a double shot of coffee which I don't usually have. I didn't mind, though 'cause the cafe is my favorite place for studying English. But I just want to go home after staying there for about 30 minutes. And then came home with chicken nuggets. This time, I got annoyed by the chicken product which had a lot of potatoes. Potatoes took up about 40 percent of the food! I was mad because I expected more of chicken, not potatoes! 

After my anger subsided, I began to listen to BBC World radio service while surfing the internet. I like to listen to the BBC World radio more than to NPR which spend most of its time on issues involved America. BBC provides news from various kinds of perspectives - of course this is also mostly coming from western views. Anyway, I almost spent 4 hours using the internet today while checking my cafe and my subtitle responses. I should reduce the time doing that but it's so hard to get out of browsing the internet. That is why I decided to start writing anything in English from Today. That way, I could think things through English and spend time on the internet. This could be a good strategy for me. I wish this way will last at least until when I go back to work.

Anyhow, I did mimicking the comedy series called 'The Middle season 7'. I felt so good after I finished shadowing practice with 6 episodes for more than 3 hours. This time, I was so eager to speak in English with members of Monday English study group. But I was again disappointed in myself not being able to speak naturally and fluently when I had conversations with them. I started to doubt that this shadowing English is really a good way to improve my English? Or Am I so dumb that I will just be stuck in this level forever? That started to stress me out. So after the study practice, I went by a store to buy something to eat. I stressed eating the chocolate cookies on the bus. 

With the help of my depression pills, I gained some energy to go ahead with this shadowing thing and did that until 1 A.M. still expecting I would be able to speak English fluently one day. Without the pills, how would I overcome my stress over English...I wonder.