I will not think too much about friendship.

I was too sick to put up even one post from last Thursday to this Sunday on my blog, not this blog. During those times, I was considering starting to write all things down here; T-story but I decided to put up a Korean version on N site and English version on this site. That way, I can be attracting more English spoken people to visit this blog. Wink, wink The Adsense.

 

 

Anyway, the reason why I couldn't write down my journal is not just that I was sick but I got some bad vibes from my friend. I've got several calls from my friend who lives in Seoul for the past few days. He said he's very depressed these days every time he called me. I couldn't ignore his feelings because I really want to help him. I'm also depressed, too. I know how the feeling goes. But his feeling blue had affected me for the past few days. I had relatively felt up but I felt down after his calls. That was another reason that I couldn't have any energy to practice my English. However, I really appreciated he called me for help. There are not many people who would like to share their feelings; especially depressed feelings. The other people would use these weak people and take advantage out of them. Sure the fact that he and I don't share a certain group of people we are in contact with also made my friend be honest with me. Whatever reasons, I wanted to help him by saying my sad stories.

 

I felt I made a mistake on the way to my hometown. I got many of my embarrassing stories exposed to make him feel better. I thought that was another reason why I was so annoyed during the weekend. I was worried that I looked like a fool and a unfortunate person which I am though. I tend to let out all of my feelings to someone that I think I am his friend. That shouldn't be always going in the right direction as I intended. This time, Why did you do that again!? Just now I regretted saying some of my sad stories.

 

But now, I feel not that bad as I write down on my blog.

 

 

Who cares? Does he not call me anymore because of my sad stories? If so, that's that. I don't want to get in touch with someone who think less of me. I will not think too much about friendship like I used to in my 20's. Just want to help him and don't try to punish yourself for letting yourself exposed a lot. He could be closer to me, or not. That depends on him, not me.